One of the last assignments of my undergraduate career. Written for WRIT150.
Dear Future Kyra:
Right now, you’re very grateful to have landed a well-paying job at your soon-to-be alma mater, a job where your medical, dental, and vision are covered. A job where you’ve been offered a career position, a job where you can go up that ladder.
And it’s been no feat of its own making. For months, you clutched your stomach in pain, the ache of anxiety over your future career both quelled and exacerbated by daily visits to Handshake and writing (and rewriting) countless resumes and cover letters. Years of writing have taught you that it pays to be detail-oriented, meticulous, and persistent. And when you finally did land this job, you were prepared. Hair cut and cleaned, a buttoned-up blazer to make you look smart – the morning of that interview, you felt good, confident even.
You were ready then – so why do I, the Kyra that lives in me at the time of writing this – feel somehow even more anxious?
To answer this question, you need to remember what else is going on right now. Right now, most of your friends are traveling, seeing the world: Europe, Asia, road trips, and flights. You’re excited for them – you had your own time studying abroad in Japan and acknowledge that it’s their turn to go see the world – but, inevitably, and naturally, you’re jealous. You’re jealous that they get to backpack across Spain while you sign up for your retirement plan, and you’re jealous that they are experiencing the world in ways you wish you could too.
Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise, one that you can’t just see yet. You’re realistically optimistic, always finding that balance between hope and pragmatism. And it’s served you well so far. You’ve gained a unique flexibility, one that makes you adaptable in various situations, always ready to pivot and adjust as needed. So perhaps what this anxiety is really telling you is that the world doesn’t end when you’re 21. You don’t stop existing just because you’re handed a diploma and a handshake – you can still take those trips, go on those adventures.
Since you seem somewhat aware of your own hopes and desires, I can expect that you’ll come to understand what you need out of this career and what this career needs out of you. I hope that you remember that your sense of adventure is important enough to establish balance between work and life. Because if there is one thing that your friends and roommates have taught you, it’s that life is too short to devote yourself to a faceless organization that is not designed to love you back.
At this time, you also acknowledge that you’re not ready for graduate school yet. You trust in yourself enough to know that one day you’ll go back to school, but in order to really see the world you want to be in, you need to be in it first. You know that you want to work in an academic setting, this much is true. And you know that graduate school – especially in communications or public policy – will help you greatly in this field. But it’s okay to develop your identity outside of school. It’s okay to grow through work, life, and travel experiences first.
These two months alone have taught you a lot about yourself, and while I don’t feel completely confident about it at the moment, I have faith that when you read this again in the future, with eyes unclouded by fear, you’ll know that you’ve made the right decision. You’ll know that you’ve struck a balance between work and the rest of your life. And, as far as I’m concerned at the time of writing this, that’s what truly matters to you.
To the Kyra of the future, this letter is a reminder of where it all began. This stability – this job at UCSB – is the foundation for what lies ahead, an entrance point into academia, a glimpse into what you’ve known you’ve wanted for a long time. As you continue on this journey, I truly hope that you, Kyra of the future, feel that you can look back at yourself and feel proud of what you’ve accomplished.
Wishing you all the best,
Kyra (06/08/2024)
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